I have been off of my blog for a while and I have missed writing…even rambling like I do. I was accepted in the Code Louisville program and have been struggling to keep up with the younger, more tech savvy folks. I enjoy learning new things and love the creativity that it allows me. However, when the kids got out of school and got that big fat fine on my library card (another setback from the move to no where; library books had been thrown in a trash bag by the Mr.), it has taken every thing in me not to just quit and cry.
I want freedom too much to quit. I want to be independent, which I spoke about in my 45 Things To Do Before 45 (#11 to be exact). It is difficult for me to do this because I suffer greatly from anxiety and random moments of depression. I have lingering issues from the physical and psychological abuse of my first husband and current battles with the financial and psychological abuse of my current. I am overcoming them in a slow, yet steady process. In my current husband alone, I have challenged his constrictive views of faith. He comes from a very misogynistic upbringing and I keep expanding my wings. Yes, it is met with a fight, but I am learning to accept the confrontation rather than avoid it. I have to do this for me and my children.
I never thought of myself as a “geek”, but I like being “geeky”. I adore the people that I am learning with and from. They are accepting, open-minded, and not snobbish in the least. I find joy in being a part of Code Louisville because I relish being around adults (not just my kiddos); highly intelligent ones. I have missed having a decent conversation with someone on my own level. It reminds me of what my friend always says, “If you are the smartest person in the room, you are in the wrong room.” I am finally in the right room.